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Juiceboy
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Country: United States
State: Colorado
Birthday: 6/29/1978
Gender: Male
Interests: Clowning and Balloon twisting.
Expertise: Machining
Occupation: Manufacturing/production
Industry: Manufacturing
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/12/2003
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| So I woke up in a hotel room in Laughlin Nevada with a needle sticking out of my arm. I rummaged through the pile of liquor bottles, baggies, and skin magazines to find my cell phone. 47 missed calls from the wife. As the phone began its savage vibrations for the 48th time, I tried to think of a way to blame the Republicans. None of that is true except the last part about blaming the Republicans. I'm always doing that.
The real deal is that I got fired again. Pretty much the same story: Boss is a dick, they lied, blahblahblahblahblah! BOO FRICKIN' HOO! I sat in the parking lot and had myself a good scream and then I made the decision that his time I'm going to do something different. This time I'm not unemployed, I'm SELF-employed. So that's the good news. I am now officially a full time professional clown! Q-Ball the Clown has been working his butt off and I've been counting the money. You might cringe and be thinking, "oooh I hope they make it," Well fear not. Things are going extremely well and getting better all the time. We just did a deal with CSU Pueblo to paint faces and twist balloons at all of their home football games with an eye on expanding to other sports and organizations events. I'm negotiating to produce and operate a haunted attraction this Halloween. I always new this thing would take off if I had the time to develop it.
Any way that's about it. Drop me a line. Let's share some ideas.
That is all.
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| If you're my age, video games are like drugs. You got hooked young with Mario, and you were like, “this is awesome, I eat a mushroom and I become more powerful!” And your parents hated it. “That crap'll rot your brain!” You thought they were stupid. There's no way something that awesome could be bad for you right? Then time goes by and your gaming preferences get more sophisticated. No more punching holes in a soda can for you!
So now your tastes have matured. Sure the PS2 costs more but it's a more satisfying experience. Now you're almost thirty or you're in you're early thirties and you've graduated to Guitar Hero. Hours and hours you play, staring at the tv. Ignoring your cell phone. There's a baby skeleton on the floor. Your shake it of for a second. You look over at your friend. “dude is that yours?” He says, “I think.” That's the moment you realize I have to quit this shit! After one more song.
Guitar hero's cool cause if you play 5 or 6 songs in a row and then look around, it's like you took a hit of acid. That should be on the box like kung fu grip. “America's hottest game now with acid effect!”
Vote Ron Paul.
More to come.
I promise.
That is all.
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| By the way for those open minded enough to check out something you might not otherwise be into... Check out the cd I'm listening to. It's dope!
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| Yeah, That should get some bells and whistles going in the old homeland security office. You guys are assholes! Go fuck with someone else. Better yet leave us alone! Since there probably isn't anyone reading this except my family, (and maybe the FBI) HI Aunt Kris!!! I'm embarrassed about how long I've been letting this thing slide. But to hell with it you know, Life happens. I did say a couple of entries ago (which amounts to a couple of years ago, amazing isn't it) that I was done with this blogging thing. But again I say to hell with it. I've got a lot of negative energy stored up and I had a lot of fun articulating it here. So here I am again.
Just to get you up to speed, here's what's been going on in my last few years on this wretched Earth. The bar/restaurant I was working at went out of business which was probably a good thing considering the levels of decadence and debauchery that went on there. I had to make sure my wife was there with me almost all the time to make sure there were no questions later. At the end of it all, the Mrs. spent a couple of days in jail for getting crazy drunk, trashing our house and punching me in the face repeatedly. Oh the nightmares I had while my wife was in the clink would make Stephen King piss his pants. I was surrounded by a pallor of evil during that time in my life, I have no doubt about it, but that time is past and we are on to greener pastures. We met some new best friends there. A couple we can actually hang out with. The girls like each other and he's like a big brother I never had so it wasn't all bad.
I had an OH SHIT moment when the bar closed and started delivering pizzas for what was going to be just a transition into another job and turned into a year and a couple of months. Pizza delivery is not such a bad job if you don't mind spending your entire day wishing you could murder everyone you come into contact with. Oh and never mind feeling degraded every time you look in the mirror and see yourself in the same goof-ass uniform you see on the TV commercials. No offense to people delivering pizzas right now, I just know I'm destined for greater things and the whole thing felt like failure...beneath me. The only reason I stuck with it as long as I did was I also got another job a couple of months after I started driving.
INDEPENDENT RECORDS
Man did I love this job!! It didn't pay the bills (hence sticking with the pizza thing) and thinking back on it there was never a time when there wasn't some kind of shit coming down the pipe from the big bosses or some inter-employee drama but I wouldn't have traded it for the world. I talked to a lady I had met at an autograph signing who happened to be the owner of a regional record store chain. I mentioned that I was looking for work and BAM! I was in. I moved pretty quickly up the ladder due to my business savvy and good looks from clerk to shift manager. It helped that I busted a couple of shoplifters and I was the oldest person working in the store at the time. Also, my stiffest competition in the store was a coke-dealing thief. Long story short, we got a new store manager who didn't like the fact that I was trying to run the store like a business instead of a cool hang-out for hot chicks and his buddies and he tried to get rid of me. Me being me, I didn't go quietly. There was a brief period of me being promoted to "Promotions Manager" which I, at first, thought was awesome, right up my alley right? I organized a VERY successful in-store autograph signing...singlehandedly. That was the only promotion I was able to do since a few weeks later this new store manager decided he was going to fire me for calling in sick. He called me to the office for the third time that week and I told him I was just going to quit and get it over with. This obviously was not going to work out. I won't go into details but it was pretty obvious that he was gunning for me and the Promotions manager position was a way to pacify my friend THE OWNER until he could find an excuse to fire me. He promptly hired his roommate and his nephew to replace me. Some day I vow to kick that guy in the nuts. I miss that job like hell and I'm pissed I don't still work there. It was awesome, free movies, free concert tickets, free cd's. But that's all over now. A week later I went and interviewed for a real grown up job.
Kurt Manufacturing.
Yup. Back to the factory. I work in a contract machine shop making engine parts for Toyota motor company on ancient equipment. Anyone familiar with this little exercise will recall my time at Trane. Well Trane was a luxury hotel compared to this place. It's loud and dirty and the hours are long. The difference, and it's a big one is that they treat their employees like they're actually valuable. Like we're the backbone of the company which we are. I work from 6:00AM to 6:30PM Monday through Thursday and quite a lot of Fridays. I'm making more money than I've ever made in my life. I recently had me a little crisis of faith where I was questioning my definition of success. I mean I could really go far in this job. My boss loves me and I think I'm finally mature enough to handle the work. But I have to decide like RIGHT NOW if this is how I want to spend my life. I'm a pessimist which I think leads me to a "Live For The Moment" kind of attitude. I mean something horrible could and probably will happen to me at any time so I have to try to make the most out of every second, right? Do I want to spend my time, filthy, feet hurting, hands sore, yelling over the noise of the machines to some asshole that it's time for him to go to break? Not really. It pays the bills but so what?
So I had a talk with the Mrs. and we have a plan.
Mrs. Brown's Clowns
Check it out. Q-Ball the Clown and Silly Lilly in Full Effect baby!!! My wife and I have been dangling our toes in this Clowning thing for 5(!) years now. It's time we jump!! We have a plan to go full time clown within the next 2 years at the longest. I won't get into the details but it's invigorating. Our dream has become a plan. I know I've talked a lot of shit on here and not followed through. I'm still way overweight, I didn't go to special effects school, I'm right back to working at a factory. I think, I hope against hope that this is different. That we can take this idea and make it real. That we can take what's left of the small time we have left in this world and at least give it a fuckin' shot. Even if we fail in the worst way at least we'll be able to say we tried. We didn't just kneel. I'm good at my job. I take pride in doing it well. Shit, I'm employee of the month right now. No shit.
BUT I'M PROUD OF BEING A CLOWN!
I've done more good and experienced more joy with that goofy costume on than in the entirety of the rest of my life combined. I feel that any time spent doing anything else is a WASTE.
If anyone tries telling me any different, I'm likely to challenge you to a fist fight.
It's late, I'm tired, so for now,
That is all.
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| Man, I had damn near forgotten about this thing. I'll probably be posting some stuff in the very near future but I just wanted to check in and see if anyone's watching. If you are, the Password is: duck-billed platypus. That will be important in the future.
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